four to transform

I woke up at 4:44 and knew that I wasn’t going to get back to sleep, and so this day began.

The newlywed minister, wearing a bright green shirt, returned, with his new wife, and my Mom, to my condo in Sarasota, at 7am. The three of them had all been out dancing all night. I had been waiting up. The woman introduced herself to me. Her name was November. That was the dream right before I awoke.

I prepared the table, shuffled the deck, and drew a tarot card. It had been over a year since I had done so. I use the Salvador Dali deck. I pulled the 4 of swords.

There was certainly a theme emerging today in the number four. The four of swords represents stress, the need for recovery, and contemplation. The first things I saw in the card were the writing and the serpent. What that meant to me was that writing may allow me to transform myself and emerge from the state I have found myself in of late. It was also cautionary, that I should give great care to my words.

So be it. This was already the plan, but the card confirmed it.

There were a few other things:

• The recurrence of the 4. This number represents foundation and grounding, as in the four seasons of the year or the four suits in the deck. It also has an association, for me, to death, although not in the literal sense. Tetraphobia is common among Asian cultures due to the similar sound of the word for four to the word for death. I am not afraid of the number, anymore, although I once was, as I have evolved to understand it as the transformation that death implies, rather than a literal end.
• The green shirt on the minister in my dream. Green symbolizes life, healing, and renewal to me.
• The idea that the minister was newlywed and had his new wife with him. A wedding symbolizes a literal death, generally, in my dreams. But this was after the wedding; there was no wedding in my dream. This was the rebirth. The new life, together.
• The woman’s name, November, and the fact that my Mom, who was also born in November, was present. This one is a little harder for me to be sure of, but with November I associate primarily Scorpio, and secondarily Sagittarius. Scorpio’s symbol is the scorpion, which to me is representative of self-protection, the ability to thrive in a harsh environment, passion, and power. I don’t have any particular individual association with the centaur, but Sagittarius represents to me many good people I’ve known throughout my life, who played key roles during pivotal times for me. November is the 11th month, an angel number, and I have associated with that month the conquering of fear because of what I chose to do on November 11, 1998 (make my first skydive, to honor the Navy SEALs who my emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend had dishonored by lying and claiming to have been a SEAL.)

Those various symbols and associations may be irrelevant, but I can tie the theme together through the concept of transformation and regeneration, so I think that unification makes them relevant. Today is groundhog day. The groundhog did not see his shadow; they say this implies an early Spring. Spring would be associated with the color green, as in the color of the minister’s shirt, and also with rebirth.

Four to transform, so mote it be.