Month: May 2016

first brick

first time ever trying to bike and then run today: 27.26 on the bike (longest ride so far) followed by a 6.01 mile run. that was rough! crazy respect for all my triathlete friends right now. oh-em-gee (and I was slow and this was a totally _flat_ course; I don’t know how you all do it!)

Trust.

Things do get better. They will get better. Things are ok, actually. Things are, in fact, better than they have been at some times in the past. It is entirely possible for them to become better than they have ever been.
Do not be sad. Keep trying. Keep the faith. Trust.

Mom is selling the house

I just got a real estate contract in my email. Mom is really gonna sell the house, for about half of what it is worth, not even for what the land is worth because they are going to demolish it and that will cost them money – that is the story they told Mom. I can’t even talk about it. I finally stopped crying.

I sent her these texts just a bit ago:

I’m scared, Mom. The house was how I was sure I would be OK. I’m alone in this world and I’m just getting older and I will always be alone. I have nothing.

I feel like I am at once losing both my childhood and also the security of my future.

// Not that she cares.

I sure hope the Universe has this all figured out.

strange bird on my run

A really bizarre thing happened just now as I was running on Peachtree Hills…

I felt something poke the back of my head. Instinctively I swatted at it. In a few seconds, it happened again. I swatted again and said “stop!”, then looked at the shadow on the sidewalk to see some kind of bird hovering behind and just above me.

I never turned around; I just kept running. The sidewalk then passed under some trees and I wasn’t bothered again.

I’m curious what kind of bird that was and what on Earth it was doing. Trying to build a nest? My hair was the same way I always wear it while running: pulled tight into a low ponytail, then braided into a long braid and then rolled up into a low bun. There was nothing flailing about anywhere.

It was a very strange experience.

dream with mom at the house

I had a dream with my mom in it today while I was sleeping all day, after my 15 mile run this morning with the Hotlanta Half Marathon course run.

In my dream, we were at the house on Siesta Key. Although I am not sure about whom I was speaking in the dream, I said to her “you’re not powering through this relationship very well.”

To which she replied: “Oh, in the first 10 years I did. I divorced him relentlessly and repeatedly. The trick is to always do it with a hint of romance.”

and then she said:
“I’ve got all kinds of bad things that I just don’t think about. Your grandpa taught me that.”

I remember looking at the house on Siesta Key and saying to her how much I loved it and how I wished she would just clean it up so we could live there. Story of my childhood.

Rock N Roll Nashville Marathon

Rock and Roll Nashville Marathon went pretty well, all things considered. Not my best time, but not my worst either. 4:34:51. My Garmin registered 26.61 (a new personal record for farthest distance); I am guessing that the extra distance may have been due to weaving in and out of the crowd in the beginning of the race, although I tried to minimize how much I did that.

The race had a delayed start from 7:15 to 7:50ish. My corral (corral 20) was getting close to the start at 8:18am, based on the last text message I sent. I was going to check my phone in gear check but I decided to carry it with me instead. I had it in my waist pack, but the zipper on my waist pack broke (thankfully this happened before the race actually started so I had time to deal with it.) I ended up putting my extra gels and my phone in my rain jacket’s pocket. The hard rain stopped, though, and it went to a drizzle and I started to get hot a few miles into the race. First I took off my hat and attached it to my clothes, but I was still too hot. It was steamy and humid, even though it was drizzling. There wasn’t really much wind. By the middle of mile 5, I had to take my jacket off and tie it around my waist.

I had to carry my phone for 20 miles in my hand after I took my jacket off, as it felt awkward in the pocket, heavier on one side and hitting my leg as I ran at that point. I reattached my hat to my jacket around my waist and that is how I ran the rest of the race, switching hands with phone and hydration bottle every couple miles. Since I had the phone in my hand anyway, I sent a few texts to my brother to let him know where I was along the course. I turned the power of the phone off in between those texts to prevent the motion-activated flashlight feature from coming on and draining the battery. It was fine, I guess, holding the phone, since I had one hand on the water bottle anyway. It would have been better not holding the phone though, since holding the water bottle is somewhat hands free with the thumb loop. Holding the phone requires actually gripping something, but I managed it.

I also ran without wearing headphones since I had stowed them the night before in two ziplock baggies, having known that it was a good chance it would be raining. After the pre-race downpour, it rained off and on a little for much of the race and I didn’t feel like bothering to get the headphones out. It was a first time for me to run without my music for this long a distance. I’m actually glad I did that, because now I feel slightly more confident about being able to do it, but I will say that I was very thankful for the bands playing every 2-3 miles.

It was a fun race and I am very glad I did it. I’d like to be able to say this whole marathon thing is getting easier, as one might think it would, after 5 full marathons (almost 6) in the span of less than a 6 month period, but I can’t say that yet. Gotta keep trying 🙂