Mirror

It takes a mirror to see yourself.

Sometimes, that mirror is a person.

every single year on 321

This is such a difficult day. Your day, Tommy. I wish I could undo all the hurt.

I read things, from that time of life, and really just can’t believe what I’m reading.

I don’t need or want anything from you. I am so, so sorry for how things went.

I just want to undo all the hurt. I hope that you don’t hurt. I’m ok, for the most part, these days.

But every single year, on this day, forever, I honor you and the things that you taught me about myself.

I wish you well. I hope that you don’t ever think of me if doing so causes you to hurt at all. Be well.

Namaste.

shrouded doomkitten

I painted over my leather jacket. Doomkitten’s image had been slowly eroding away and it was causing me sorrow to watch. I painted over her with black leather acrylic paint. How readily she vanished, like magic; she had been waiting to go. Only after having done so did I realize that I’m not even sure if a picture of her exists. Alas, it is too late now and closure was long overdue.

My leather jacket has been painted twice, both by the same person. That person is no longer a part of my life, nor will he ever be again. I had thought I might get something else painted on the back to take her place, and the place of the gargoyle who had lived there before, but now I am thinking better of it. I shall shroud the past in darkness, as it should be.

Doomkitten lives on, beyond the veil. The muse from which she spawn is barely a memory.

Shame I didn’t take a photo first. Perhaps one exists and I’ve forgotten about it and will find it one day.

But… I know what she looks like and I always will.

zombie love

I had an amazing, elaborately designed, movie-worthy dream with a bunch of zombies in it last night. I fell in love with one of them. He gave me a hug in the dream. I never really got into the zombie thing, being a fan of other “monsters” more, but this guy was extremely attractive and gave really great hugs. I remember thinking that it was the best hug I have had in a long time. I never turned into a zombie… I’ve always been a friend to monsters. ❤

“soft spoken changes nothing…”

This time of year has historically, with a curious consistency, been a powerful time for me to create change.

Timing always works out so cleverly.

If I could harness the passion I once had,… now would be the time for me to put it to best use.

if…

three, two, one

welcome, whisperer, where we were.
time lost, time crossed,
time wasted and gone.
let me know you, let me be you,
let me let you in my soul.
what you are, I was.
what I am, you gave me.
what we were, you have.
the torturer screams no more.

undone

she found peace through messages sent as fragments of eternity.

time was slowly undone.

nomenclature and fragments

The story, as it were, never minding the illusory nature of sequential time, shall be constructed in fragments, such that it must deter from proper assembly until such time that it should properly be assembled.

epilogue

I wonder if I will ever reach a stage of my life in which I will not feel so broken and alone. For some reason, I doubt it. My world has become so empty of emotion. My muse is gone. My only solace from the mundane exists in memory.